boys

What is my fear? That I will be overruled? That my significance will be diminished? That they collectively snuff out my shine? What you ask? I am somehow grappling with the fact that I have boys and am having a hard time with the acceptance. Wha?? Well, lets see. The bigger one is full of boyness. Unbeknownst to me at the start, he has and still is developing into full blown boy. Sure there are plenty of sweet little things he does like gives kisses without prompt, or rocking stuffed animals. But then, there's the whole car thing- take him to a thrift store and all he goes for are the vehicles. And he picked up a gun lookin thingy too. Perhaps that's just what I notice, who knows! So anyways, with these boys, and the now unbalanced boy favored gender divide in my house, I think I'm a bit afraid to dive into the boys life. I know about GI Joes (although I almost spell it wrong every time wanting to use a G instead of a J), I know about climbing, running, falling, and football even. But enough to have knowledge. These weren't things that I lived my life for, that I overindulged myself in. These are boy things. And now I'm in charge of raising boys. And the bigger one is already a full steam ahead, into everything, how is he going to be stopped kind of a boy. And if I have two of them? What will happen then? Their boisterousness will outshine, out perform even my bold personality. I am a big sister (attention whore from that), I am a scorpio (loves attention and is a forceful personality), I am in my all about me twenties (although I'm not quite livin it up like my peers). But I do fear that all this will be snuffed out by my overwhelming, larger then life boys. Scary for me.