Ok, so now I have somewhat graduated. I walked the stage and by all accounts I should be well and done, but I just don't ever trust the whole process and bureaucracy of the state school system. Ok, of any system for that matter. I'm just waiting to find out that the last undergraduate degree counselor I saw undercounted my units and I still have more to complete. Or like the email from a teacher that asked if I turned in the major class paper- ummm... I have the email conversation saved from when I sent it to you, but here it is again. aggh. So yes, I am supposed to be done which also means that for the first time in 7 years that I haven't signed up for classes barring child delivery (I took semesters off to have children!). I feel slightly strange. One big problem that I am having though is this whole what am I doing now business. Of course many graduates find their selves wondering exactly how to apply their new degree out in the real world and find their direction and such, but my problem is much more superficial. Yes... you see, it's about filling in the blank or checking the box. Before on applications for car loans or surveys, there was always a place to put occupation. I would always put something like mom or homemaker and a big fat slash with student. Or I would just check the student box. But now I feel so... umm... stupid doesn't quite express it, but perhaps indigent having to resign myself to the utterly sexist, nostalgic, and barely competent "homemaker" category. Really I would much rather say manager/management cause that's what I do now. I manage three children and a house hold. Seriously, paying the bills which includes signing up for direct deduction which somehow gets overlooked so the bill gets overdue putting a lien on the house, having to resend a much larger check with a second request for direct bill pay or whatever it's called, and then getting the direct deduction crap denied because the bill isn't up to date/current, so going down to city hall to pay the bill and finding out that I only have one quarter for parking, taking the baby into city hall to be faced with a minimum hour long line when I have to pick up my two others early from preschool so I can go to a friends house to wait out the two hour time window for her washer to be delivered. So instead I make a mental note to send a check in and pray that one day everything will be settled so I don't have to send payments and checks in the mail, instead having the freakin payment just be deducted automatically from my bank on a regular basis. Seriously. And then having to coordinate which car needs to be smog checked, which one needs to go to the test only center, which one is going into the shop and for what after the other after a *gag* hefty bill to fix the ignition thingy gets paid... and blah blah blah. And then the children. Who needs lunches made, carb counts for the diabetes management, along with proper diabetes kit supplies refilled and ready, clothing/dressing the children and piling dirty clothing in the corner or if I'm really on my game in the dirty laundry basket or in front of the washer, keeping the shoes all actually in the shoe area, vacuuming every fucking day. Making sure the kids brush their teeth. Making a healthy nutritious dinner and actually getting to get me time in which I really enjoy/need/take as much as I can get. And get the dog to the dog park, take the car for a car wash then vacuum it out and take the garbage out. Watch the neighbors daughter while she runs a international visitor to the doctors office. Writing thank you notes for the three million things we get at Christmas time, wanting to throw every xmas decoration back into the box because I'm not looking forward to the mass de-xmasing project that is just waiting to happen. Sigh. Oh and a sick husband who has nothing but liquid shit, so no sex either. And I even bought a sex toy like a month ago. Still in the packaging- still in the little black bag. And this is the perfect life too... I have the car, the kids, the husband, the house, the dog, and I manage all this shit.... yet I still need to vent every once in a while.
So regardless of all my tangents, I really think I will take on the identity of household and child management or just plain management because the title of housewife or homemaker is just far too fucking lame. Student was much easier.
I am actually dreaming of taking classes again. I kind of get excited like it is an illicit thing to do after finally getting a degree- why in the would would you want to take classes again especially if it's not for a higher degree? Well, cause it's fun, I like learning, and then I get to be a student again. :D
buy the buy- thank god for spell check in the browser. YEAH!
