Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The baby shrieks like a freakin velociraptor!

OK, this is the way baby likes to nurse.

He first hungarily starts nuzzling his face into my shirt getting all ancy like the women in the Mervyn's commercials- open! open! open!

So I unleash the bra and the feast begins. He gulps and guzzles as any hungry boy should. Then comes the buffet. He stops, gets distracted and looks away then quickly comes back for another bite, and another and another. In public, this can be like many serial mini flashes. If my breast shone, it would be a strobe light.

Also during this buffet, if he looses sight of the boob, he shrieks (yes, like the scary ass, loud annoying velociraptors in Jurassic Park) and desperately seeks nipple heaven once more. Often he often misses his mark and ends up bobbing open mouthed around my stomach looking to see if perhaps his wishes have been granted and I burst out in extra nippleitis!

And then done with the buffet, he wants to try and multi task. Humm, if mom can drive and eat (talk on the cell phone, pick her nose, etc) then I can drink and climb the vast expanse of her body. I'm tired of lying- I'll try standing!

So then my nipple get's twisted around in most amazing rubbertastic fashions as the child chacha's all over me.

He gleefully consumes my breast milk and every part of me. Geez

Oh yeah, and he likes to play with his spit up.