Who am I?

Who am I?

I am the daughter of a dependent, immature, mentally unstable, addictive, bipolar, sloppy, immature adult.

I am the mother to a vivacious, smart, witty, gymnastically inclined, soccer playing, blossoming kindergartener, sometimes shy diabetic daughter who sometimes wishes she didn't have a brother.

I am the daughter to a distant, shallow, funny, talented artist who spawned me but whom I don't know beneath the skin.

I am the wife to an overly sarcastic, great humored, ice hockey playing man who once drove a ford taurus with booming speakers in the back and once put up with me calling him Nacho, balding man who loves me more then I'm worth sometimes.

I am the sister to a diabetic, late blooming, caring, loving, thoughtful, beautiful, amazing young woman whose life will end sooner then I want to think such sad thoughts.

I am the mother to a toddling, hair pulling, charming, outgoing eating machine who is built tuff, sweet little blond boy who almost always too much- sometimes good sometimes not so much.

I am a student who will never be done learning but never fully immersed in study. I am a self directed leader who hates cheaters and lazy students, yet likes to help other grateful lost souls and hopes to one day become a teacher herself if she could do it all.

I am a community member, striving to make the changes that I would like to see happen. I am a green thinking yet hypocritical do what it takes to make my life easy person who always feels guilty for not doing more or being more involved.

I am a person who likes plain white bread, mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, turkey sandwiches. I also like a daily fix of sweet treats, wish I could kick the soda habit and still, despite the effects, like to wake up in the middle of the night, snuggle a little baby up against me and fall asleep with the warmth of a nursing then snoozing baby cuddled into my side (repeatedly all night long).

Which reminds me that I am also the mother to a baby boy, surprise!, who is quickly growing and will let me snuzzle as much as possible before soon enough crawling away from me, walking away from me, running away from me, learning away from me, moving away from me. A little man who has the longest feet I have ever noticed on a baby, and the funniest little tuft of hair that refuses to conform to a hairstyle or pattern that is socially acceptable an unnoticable. The little baby who has a hair fetish, kicks his crib in a melodic pattern, and tolerates his mother, brother and sister even when he doesn't need to.

And who am I? I am a sarcastic, mind always in the gutter, on anti depressants, cynical yet optimistic, sometimes hypocritical, judgmental (more then I'd like to realize and admit), white, middle class, agnostic, learner, mother, twenty-something, wife, daughter, granddaughter, in-law, internet and computer addict, zuma champion, techno and hip hop lover, dancer, ten pounds more over weight then I'd like, wish I were a photographer, always wished I were a dancer, wish now that I actually wore my retainers as a kid, slightly OCD and neurotic, person who sometimes doesn't even know who I am anymore.

Ahhh... and sucky sucky thoughts that delay my already late bedtime. It's just me!